Finally! I am back with blogging! I have officially ended my fall semester.
This blog post will be about my academic struggles for the past few months.

The semester started well, the classes went well for the first couple of weeks. Most of my classes were doing good except for one. This teacher in particular was nowhere near to how she teaches compared to the other effective teachers that I have. I could not understand her at all, and I know to myself that I was not the only one who was struggling in that class.
I sat right in front of the teacher during lectures and tried to listen. I turn off my phone every time before class to avoid distractions, and that my only focus was about our lesson for that day. Drinking coffee every class session to keep me awake. On Canvas, a specific site where teachers can post different materials online for the convenience of students, where all of the powerpoint slides are posted for the rest of the semester. As the weeks went by, I noticed that the powerpoints in class did not match the ones that were given to us online. Yes, I can compare them right away because I use my iPad to take notes with. The powerpoints do not match, at all. The teacher's slides were so lengthy and unorganised. I know-------  I know that I was not the only one who noticed, but no one spoke about it. On the next meeting, I talked to the person next to me and said, "Hey, did you notice that the slides that she (the teacher) posted online are not the same as the ones that she shows in class?". The person said, "Yeah. They are not the same". I was so happy when I heard that from the person because I was not the only one who noticed it.
A few minutes into the class, the person seating beside me decided to take pictures of my teacher's powerpoint slides! Lol. I was really really planning on doing that on that exact same day, but the person did it before me. The teacher said, "Please don't take pictures of my slides, they are already posted online". We were sitting right in front, so it was really obvious. We just looked at each other with a mugging face. We were panicking on the inside because the first exam was coming up.
A study guide was given to us, but the materials included on the guide was not even on the book and not on the powerpoint slides that she posted online. At this point, I had no idea on how I would study for the first exam. It was so unorganised, I was obviously unprepared.
That struggle continued until the first exam came. As expected, I did horrible on the first exam. The exact same situations went on and on until the midterm exam.
I was at my highest panic mode at that time, and I wanted to pass that class. Our grade was only consisted of the First exam, midterm, final, and a term paper. Yes, that's it.
I basically studied the entire book weeks before the midterm exam. Two or three hours after the exam, our exam grades were posted. Even though I felt a little bit confident on the midterm, I was not sure if I would pass the exam. When I looked on our grade book, yes I passed the exam, but I did not get enough points to get an overall grade that I want.
The term paper was due at the second week of November, and I have worked so hard to get at least a B on that paper. After the thanksgiving break, the paper was returned to us. I was very nervous when the teacher was handing out our papers back to us. Whilst I was waiting for my paper, the person behind me said, "Thank God I got a 74, because I do not know what she really wanted". In my head, yeah the rubric does not really make sense. I got some help from the Librarians in school, but I felt that it was not enough. I also tried contacting my teacher for office hours, but our schedules never worked out. She would run from classes to classes. Oml, I feel like I am just rambling in here. Yeah.
The person behind me was so happy that he got a 74 on the term paper, and he was like the 'star student' in that class who knows everything. So in my head, I was like, "If he got a 74, I probably got a lower grade than him?". I was really worried about my grade, and as I looked around the classroom, I saw the disappointed faces of my classmates while they read comments that were written on their term paper. I was praying. I was praying to at least get me a 70 on that term paper. After a few seconds, the teacher handed me my paper, and I breathed deeply. I peeped on my grade, and it did not even touched the 70s. I was very disappointed to myself, that I wanted to cry inside the classroom. I felt that my face was so red, that the person seating next to me asked if I was okay. I was shaking and sweating to death. I did not know what to do, I wanted to at least pass the class. But a part of me was also saying that I do not have a chance to pass the class, and might as well not try. The person seating next to me talked to me after class, and said that he was also struggling in that class. He said that we should at least try for the final exam, aka the last chance to get our grade up. Since the December 1st to December 12th, I was non stop studying for the final exam. I was sleeping less, and eating unhealthy food. I also thought that it would just be a miracle in december for me to pass the class.
The final exam came, and it went very smoothly than the past exams. I actually felt good about that final which was really weird for me. On the last day of the semester, a notification popped up on my phone saying that the final exam grade was posted. Guess what? My score was a 90.5/100!!!! And my overall grade went up like 10%! It was such a miracle and unbelievable because I was all over the place preparing for final exam and I have no clue how it happened. When I saw my grades, I was literally crying in my room. I was very happy that I made it. I am thankful, and blessed.

Now, I am relaxing at home not stressing about academics. Happy Holidays!

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xo,
rj